This week, a fellow children’s author who I’ve interacted with on social media for years passed away. It was a shocking and unexpected loss, and devastating to read about. We were similar in age, and she was such a vibrant light that it’s truly difficult to process that she is no longer with us. When I heard the news, I’d just made one of the hardest decisions of my life, which required hurting someone I love in order to do the right thing by both of us. I was really struggling with the guilt of that choice, and I needed the reminder that life is never promised. We must do what is required with each day. We cannot focus on the potential outcomes, because we don’t know if we will ever get there. We have to be present and engaged now, because life IS the journey.
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I took a trip to Pennsylvania last week to look at a car. I’m still without one, following the accident where my former wagon gave up its life to protect my son, who walked away without a scratch. At the same time, I’ve sold my house and many of my belongings in preparation for a move. I feel adrift but also surprisingly free. I have always been so focused on being definitive, on reaching the conclusion as quickly as possible, but the changes I’m making are so big and require so many steps that it has slowed me down. I have to enjoy how I spend each day. I can’t just live in panic trying to get to when I’m “done” because I’ll never be done. We are never truly DONE…until the ride is over. It’s taken me a long time to value being present, but I do now. I get it.
A tiny bunny appeared in my yard this week. It’s late spring and new life is everywhere. This little guy froze as soon as he saw me watching him, an instinct born of self-preservation. It’s so easy to freeze, isn’t it? It’s so easy to let a thought circle round and round inside your head instead of seeing the sunlight and the trees and feeling the soft whoosh of a breeze. Rumination traps us in the past or the future, robbing us of the present.
Overthinking can interfere with creative work, too. Have you ever stared at your draft, unable to start a chapter because you’re not sure how the story pans out overall? We don’t know how this scene will connect to the climax, so we obsess about the ending of the story and how it might need to change instead of just WRITING THE CHAPTER. This is when it’s important to stay present with your work. Do you know what to do for the next paragraph? The next page? Then do it. Sometimes, by the end of one small step, you will discover the next step. Almost always, you’ll at least have a better sense of direction when you allow yourself to move on. I call this drafting forward. You just keep going, embracing the answers you have right now and trusting your future self to have the answers you need in the future.
Sometimes, it’s so easy to get fixated on the outcome of your art that you don’t even enjoy making it anymore, which is bad for both you and for the art. An unhappy artist makes unhappy art. When you find your joy, it shows in the work, which in turn resonates more with your audience. Even if that’s just embracing the pleasure of your pen dragging over the paper or the satisfaction of mixing a new paint color, finding a joyful way to move forward in your work will lead to more successful outcomes.
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